Day 28

Early start to catch our flight to Bogota from Cancun airport, a breezy 4 hour flight in which I win the World Club Cup with Wolves, basically completing Football Manager, so I take the Shrewsbury job in league 2 to start again in Colombia.

It’s pissing it down outside so we decide to get some local ‘Salchipapas’, greasy sausage and cheese on chips (Colombian kebab shop… was delicious) and a beer and have an early night.

Day 29 - D(an) Day!

We meet up with Dan and Caro, it’s the day Caro is due to have her C-Section! We have an early lunch at ‘Crepe y Waffle’ and checkout Dan and Caro’s flat before we leave them to rest before the evening baby production! Then we had a tour of the Gold Museum, where ‘Jaguars are everything’, unless the tribe liked monkeys then, ‘Monkeys are everything’, unless the particular tribesperson wants to be the batman then, ‘Bats are everything’ (interestingly to be a batman you have to live in a cave for 9 years… then you get to wear a gold bat nose ring but no bat-mobile). We learned a lot of ‘theories’ about the past, but little is known for sure because most of the gold was robbed from where it was found - apparently everyone from the police to the nuns were helping themselves to the gold found in a mass grave site, and later the Colombian government had to buy it off them! Then we went for some arepas (stuffed corn bread things, hard to eat!), and retired to bed to dream of plundering gold.

Day 30

Took the funicular up to Monserrate - a massive church with beautiful gardens and views of the city, and lots of Jesus statues. Made our way into the city centre and went to the Botero museum (also known as the ‘fat museum’ - his speciality was painting podgy people and plumpy fruit) - our favourite was the fat Mona Lisa! Then to a cute cafe for the ‘plato del dia’ - three courses and drinks for a fiver each! We’d been planning to do the grafitti tour but the curse of Chris’s weak stomach struck again, so we toddled back, Chris with clenched butt cheeks, and cooked a safe dish of veggie pasta and had an early night.

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